Winning that game brought a glow to her face, like the moon at twilight.
His dark skin and off-white teeth reminded me of an old wooden bookshelf, stacked with books from the 50’s.
Eating food at home after ages is like having the red cherry on a black forest pastry.
Guess you’re wondering what I am trying to convey with these sentences above? Well, they are merely sentences – simple in nature, yet they give you a real and immediate connection to the respective subjects.
During exams, time runs fast…much faster than light!
The immediate relevance to the sentences does nothing, but form a clear image in the mind of the reader. The meaning that we, as writers, try to convey through our writing reaches instantly to our readers with absolute clarity.
It is important to use an example that best suits our topic. One should ideally not use ‘Icing on the cake’, for a sentence that is not at all related to food. It mixes two emotions and might lead to quite a bit of confusion in the reader’s mind.
Giving metaphorical examples to sentences will increase their beauty, and can make the piece of writing much more unique and rich. Writing in this style gives a boundless canvas to writers, to express their vivid imagination without any rules or restrictions. Each sentence should complement the earlier one, to makes it sound much more grand and create a connect with the reader.
Let me give you an example that will make this concept clear and will help you in the future. (This paragraph is strictly fictional and straight out of my vivid imagination – )
“Hey, that was John Abraham!” my sister-in-law screamed, as our car passed through one of Mumbai city’s posh suburban areas. I jumped with joy and asked my brother to stop the car at once. I hopped out of my car instantly and walked towards him. I was nervous and shaky at first, but soon gathered my strength, took a deep breath and spoke up. I told him all about how I dreamed of meeting him for years and saw a brother in him, because of his kind heart. I didn’t want his autograph or photograph, but I just wanted him to know that there is a girl out there who likes him for the human he is, and holds deep respect for him.
Now, allow me to tweak the above story a little, and show you how it can sound much better –
My family was enjoying a drive around the posh suburbs of Mumbai, one cool Saturday evening. “Hey, I just saw John Abraham there!”, my sister-in-law whooped, like she had just seen God standing on the street corner. Well, for me, he is a person I deeply respect and admire. I instantly asked my brother to stop the car, like a teacher demands her students to stop making a noise in the class-room. I jumped out of my car, similar to a kid hopping out to grab her share of candy. I walked up to him with shaky legs and sweat soaking me down to the bone in nervousness. I had rehearsed this conversation several times in my head, and I wanted to execute it exactly like in my rehearsals.
I gathered up all my courage, shut my eyes, and took a deep breath, as if I was about to jump into the deep end of the swimming pool. In a single breath, I told him all about my respect for him, about how I admired and adored him for the outstanding man that he is at heart. I felt like I was singing Shankar Mahadevan’s ‘Breathless‘, standing right there in front of him. He listened patiently, the kind and gracious man that he is. He acknowledged me, and thanked me, proving once and for all to be the amazing person that he is – like a caring brother is to his own sister. No autographs, no photographs – just a simple and sweet memory, for me… and I hope for him too!
The 2 versions of my story and the meanings are the same, just written differently. Which one did you like more?
Try this the next time that you write your story; it will keep your audience engaged in the piece, just like a kid is engrossed in the bed-time story told by his parents.